Friday, April 10, 2009

Interviewing Your Daughter's Date

Praise Melissa and Keith Hutsell for giving us this wonderful resource-
How to Interview Your Daughter's Date by Dennis Rainey.

I know I have mentioned before how often the issue of the opposite sex comes up in our home lately. Again we knew this would be a part of public school. It has been a big issue the past few weeks for our oldest daughter. A boy was wanting her to "go with him" I'm terrible I say, "go where? you aren't of the age that it is appropriate to go anywhere with a boy." She will say "Mom!!! you know what I mean." I'll be honest this boy had me a little concerned, he didn't seem to obey boundaries and enjoyed the thought of challenging us. A small example is we said it isn't appropriate to talk on the phone to boys so we had told Brianna to let him know that if he calls, she would not be permitted under any circumstances to talk to him. He called anyway, he had said he was going to talk to me then if he couldn't talk to her. Just so happens that after school one of us Chris or I are always home with the kids. I'm guessing from his reactions he's not used to hands-on parents. It did however, put a red flag up to us about the character of this young man. In time Brianna came to see this for herself and made good choices but oh how tough the past few weeks have been.

I won't go into any more detail accept to say that book was so wonderful. It made us realize we have more power than we were feeling. We told Bri that she was a precious jewell to our family and that we would not just hand her over lightly to anyone. We explained that any boy that would like to spend time with her "at an appropriate age" or any boy that was thinking of calling her a girlfriend would most definately have to meet up with Chris for him to be able to get to know the young man and let him know of our expectations and make sure his character is honorable. After that we would both have to have time to get to know him in our home. I was amazed at her reaction. I expected great resistance but instead I could see in her that she felt so loved and protected. She beamed saying "she would feel better if Daddy did that." I could see the love in her eyes for her Daddy, The idea of him doing this opened her heart to him in a really deep way. This has opened the door for many good conversations about being evenly yoked and what to look for when choosing a date and not just wanting to go on a date with someone because she is asked but taking a look at the character of the person first and their possible intentions. This is hard stuff. She will be in high school next year. Anyway the book brings a great perspective that empowered us and with it and prayer we were able to quickly gain control over the situation. God is so good. I kept thinking God will use this for His glory or we wouldn't be going through it now. I can see how he is using it in her. Chris and I particularly like the part of the book that tells Dennis has a baseball bat in his office with the words "The Respect Her" lasered on the bat. We might need to get one of those. Just wanted to share that.

Easter preparations are in full swing. It is great to have the kids home today. Joseph and Natalie are getting ready to paint eggs. Brianna and I are going to make 4 dozen muffins today to donate for the Sunday morning breakfast at church. The Jr. High kids will be preparing the entire meal tomorrow morning. During that time Jose has meet the team for soccer then he and I will go off to the grocery and I will spend some time tomorrow making food to take to my Mother's. However, we are looking forward to a relaxing family night tomorrow night and will enjoy Chris being home for the weekend for a change. After church on Sunday we will go to Mom's house to celebrate for the rest of the day.

Hope you all have a great Easter!!!!


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