I can't believe it has been so long since I posted last.
I just spent the last week trying to enjoy my spring break from school. I say trying because it was also an unfortunate must that I get caught up on everything around here...the taxes, laundry, housework and studying for a big test in anatomy for tomorrow. I did however get to smell the roses and fill up the lovin cup of my kiddos. Took Joe on an date for ice-cream and made homemade cookies with him to take to his class. Helped out in Natty's class then took her out to lunch and spring shopping. Ran Bri all week to rehearsals for her big choir dinner theatre show. Got to see and hear our amazing teenager perform and sing her heart out Sat. night. All in all a pretty great week.
I like school very much. It is amazing learning about the human body. I will be excited once I actually make it into the sonography program next year and all the pre-requisite classes are over. None of it seems gruesome to me, the only part I have been somewhat dissappointed about is how impersonal it all seems to others. Maybe it has to be that way because in dealing with sick people day in and day out you would have to be somewhat not emotional, I get that part. On the flip side I think someone who can be empathetic and act in a sensitive manner would be just as important. I had built up in my heart that this is a Christian school. The reality of it is that some, some of the professors actually pray before taking tests and before big events like the first time we used cadaevers in our labs and you are required to take religion classes and many of the students are Christians. The things I was not expecting was the competitive spirit in this school that is completely a survival of the fittest type of atmosphere. I keep the Lord in the forefront of my mind each day. I love the information, it is like a welcome brain food for me that I much anticipate each week. I keep reminding myself that God has put me here and allowed me to do this for his purposes and try each day to keep my mind open to what that might be. One day I stopped a study session a group of us were involved in to minister to a young mother that is going through a divorce she didn't choose. Everyone else kept talking about the function of cells while this poor girl sat in the corner crying. Seriously there were only five of us in the room. I stopped and asked her for more information and told her we can study for this test later but you need help now. The others looked at me like I was nuts and one woman didn't even look up just kept on studying. After the girl left that woman looked at me and said "I just can't do it, I hear her talking and it becomes something I think about all the time and I don't have time for it now" I said "me too, it becomes something I will think about a lot too and I choose every time it comes to my mind to pray for that girl because God will help her where no one else can and I always have time for that!" then I got up and left. This is one example of my frustration but for the most part it hasn't been that bad. One day God asked me to talk to this man that is in a lot of my classes. I sat down where he had out his religion book. He started ranting about how he hated the religion class and I let him rant then grabbed the book and started kindly asking him questions he couldn't answer. Then he began asking me questions kindly that I could answer with the truth of the Bible. God put me there at that moment and gave me the wisome to answer the tough questions he had and I walked away feeling awestruck of the Lord. The world seems so different to me, more harsh than I ever noticed, more vain than I ever wanted to admit, more broken and painful than I ever realized. God is bringing me into this reality that I am sometimes afraid of. I am afraid thinking this is the world my children are in and how shall I prepare them for this part..the part where so much of the world has become plain synical and hopeless. I share with them some things that happen and how I leaned on God and what he did for me or how he chose to use me. All the while praying they are taking away the lasting message that is upon us each day that we cannot live on self alone that we need that daily, minute by minute relationship with Him because He is the one with the play book. I am reminded with each situation that I have joy and hope and dreams and strength and fearlessness because He is the giver of all good things and it doesn't matter what anyone says to me or thinks of me as long as I know that and keep true to it.
The hands down hardest thing I have had to deal with is the guilt. I am home most days before or soon after my children get home but the amount of homework I have I could have never imagined. Everything is so much faster than when I went to college before and I was not prepared. So much is online and shorter time frames to get work done even though all of my classes are on campus and I have no online classes. Anyway the homework takes me away from some of the quality time I enjoyed with my kids and I can't go on field trips as often and volunteer at school as often. I am working through that part and Chris helps with it. He escorted four pre-schoolers as a room father on a field trip to sing at a retirement home and then to McDonald's two weeks ago because Natty had a meltdown when she realized I couldn't go. He was quick to step in and offer Daddy go instead and she was delighted by that. It made me feel better too, knowing she would have him there and not have to go without a parent. I expect my mama heart will always have a hard time with this and I may never feel better about it until I am done with school and have a more flexible schedule.
Love to you all!! Chelle
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Safety and Security
I've been thinking about that phrase safety and security these past few days and what it really means. Locked doors, security systems, close loved ones, a strong protective husband, feeling loved, a Lord to watch over us and all the things that pop into my head when that phrase rolls off of my lips. I think how would I really react when put to the test. Like ok Lord it is just you and me on a late, dark night in the Wal-mart parking lot or after putting my children to bed at night with a husband miles away working and pray just you and me Lord please get us through this night safe and unharmed..many scenarios come to mind but none really stick, none really stick because praise God, nothing horrible like that has ever really been that close to me or ever happened that I would be tested to trust in God in such a way.
This all changed for my family Sunday Jan. 3, 2010. My family was shaken to the core of what the world has become, what it is capable of and we are forever changed. I write this as an act of preserving history. Someday my children should know and I keep this blog as a diary for them. No comments are needed as there is nothing anyone can say that really confronts such an ugly act and prayer is the only means of healing.
My sweet Grandmother's name is Juanita McClain. When I was a child she taught me about growing things, especially roses which were her pride. She always put aloe on our burns and cuts taken from her own home grown aloe plant. I remember her showing me the curtains she had made especially for my playhouse that my Grandfather had made for me when I was 10. She made a spiced birthday cake for every person in my family every year on their birthdays until we left home. We dressed proper for supper at her house and I always thought that the table was prepared so grand that it looked like it was taken from a picture in one of those magazines my mother had. She was to me the ultimate of women...kind, gentle, always spit spot, beautiful, she took the time to make everything just so. She married my Grandfather when my father was a junior in high school, giving him a mother he had never had. She helped my Grandfather with whatever he needed her to and took such good care and loved him in a way that no one else could for 33 years. In that 33 years they had built a wonderful life together. A nice business and a fine home in the country. Their home is way back off the road up on a hill surrounded by a perfectly groomed grounds of trees, pond, woods and farmland. My Grandfather died 2 1/2 years ago. He was a lion, a protector, a person whose word was honorable and whose actions always had meaning. He was a legend in my mind and a savior to my sweet Grandmother. I miss him deeply but even more so I miss him for her. I do so wish he could wrap his strong arms of steel around her and comfort her just once more.
On Sunday evening Jan. 3rd around 7:30 Juanita my grandmother was in her basement paying bills. She finished and headed up the steps only to be met my two men in ski masks, one holding a gun on her. For the next few hours that followed these men took her from room to room making her show them where she had all the valuables she owned hidden in her home. They told her over and over they would kill her if she didn't cooperate. When they were done with what they needed from her, they pushed her down and then put her in a chair and wrapped duct tape around her and locked her in her bedroom closet. She then sat in her closet for hours listening to these men ransack and rob her home. Around 9:00 the next morning light shown under the door she worked her way free from the tape. She had told these men that she was very asthmatic and she would die without her inhaler so they had tied her arms a bit more loosely so she could take her inhaler. This is what was able to help her get free. She then slipped past the basement door grabbed her coat and ran for the neighbor's house to call 911. The robbers were gone by this time and had taken thousands of dollars in cash, valuables and her car. The story was put on every Dayton news channel. My sister and I cried from our homes Monday night as we watched the TV news and listened to our sweet Grandma's voice in the 911 call they played. This voice of love and kindness that we've known all our lives changed into a voice of absolute fear and a voice that crackled under the sheer emotional pain she had endured. In my whole life I will never get this out of my mind and I can never imagine this kind of fear, this kind of horror, this kind of pain, this kind of security being taken away at a moments notice. I am angry that someone would do this to another. My Grandmother in all of her strength and wits was able to take off her wedding ring and hide it in her pocket when the robbers were not looking. It warms my heart the love she has for my Grandfather. Christ is her savior and she will endure this. She will endure and get beyond not being able to left alone, she will get past seeing those men in her mind in her home. I praise you Lord for saving her for I am so well aware this outcome could have been sooo very different without you. I pray peace be warmed into her heart that her mind be relieved of this constant agitation.
I praise you Lord for answering the prayers sent up that these people would be caught quickly. Tuesday these men and a woman (who as it turns out is my Grandmother's cousin) were caught driving her car with some of the stolen goods in it in Dayton. These people are in custody and have been brought back to Darke County and are being charged with aggravated robbery, kidnapping, grand theft auto and a list of other charges. I do so pray justice be brought and they are imprisoned for a lifetime. All the money and all the things are just that... things. They can be replaced or learned to live without but they took away the place she feels closest to Grandpa, a home she's known for so very long a Camelot of such that my Grandparents had built together. It is doubtful that she will ever live there again.
When put to the test the only true security we have is our trust in Christ as our Savior. He is the only security that is unfailing, the only thing that we can really grasp and hold on to at any given moment. The moment when we can't reach the phone or can't make it to the car or can't run fast enough or God sparing we are put into a situation of absolute terror, Christ will see us through to the morning light.
Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place, you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Please keep Juanita McClain in your prayers for she will need them for so long.
Michelle
This all changed for my family Sunday Jan. 3, 2010. My family was shaken to the core of what the world has become, what it is capable of and we are forever changed. I write this as an act of preserving history. Someday my children should know and I keep this blog as a diary for them. No comments are needed as there is nothing anyone can say that really confronts such an ugly act and prayer is the only means of healing.
My sweet Grandmother's name is Juanita McClain. When I was a child she taught me about growing things, especially roses which were her pride. She always put aloe on our burns and cuts taken from her own home grown aloe plant. I remember her showing me the curtains she had made especially for my playhouse that my Grandfather had made for me when I was 10. She made a spiced birthday cake for every person in my family every year on their birthdays until we left home. We dressed proper for supper at her house and I always thought that the table was prepared so grand that it looked like it was taken from a picture in one of those magazines my mother had. She was to me the ultimate of women...kind, gentle, always spit spot, beautiful, she took the time to make everything just so. She married my Grandfather when my father was a junior in high school, giving him a mother he had never had. She helped my Grandfather with whatever he needed her to and took such good care and loved him in a way that no one else could for 33 years. In that 33 years they had built a wonderful life together. A nice business and a fine home in the country. Their home is way back off the road up on a hill surrounded by a perfectly groomed grounds of trees, pond, woods and farmland. My Grandfather died 2 1/2 years ago. He was a lion, a protector, a person whose word was honorable and whose actions always had meaning. He was a legend in my mind and a savior to my sweet Grandmother. I miss him deeply but even more so I miss him for her. I do so wish he could wrap his strong arms of steel around her and comfort her just once more.
On Sunday evening Jan. 3rd around 7:30 Juanita my grandmother was in her basement paying bills. She finished and headed up the steps only to be met my two men in ski masks, one holding a gun on her. For the next few hours that followed these men took her from room to room making her show them where she had all the valuables she owned hidden in her home. They told her over and over they would kill her if she didn't cooperate. When they were done with what they needed from her, they pushed her down and then put her in a chair and wrapped duct tape around her and locked her in her bedroom closet. She then sat in her closet for hours listening to these men ransack and rob her home. Around 9:00 the next morning light shown under the door she worked her way free from the tape. She had told these men that she was very asthmatic and she would die without her inhaler so they had tied her arms a bit more loosely so she could take her inhaler. This is what was able to help her get free. She then slipped past the basement door grabbed her coat and ran for the neighbor's house to call 911. The robbers were gone by this time and had taken thousands of dollars in cash, valuables and her car. The story was put on every Dayton news channel. My sister and I cried from our homes Monday night as we watched the TV news and listened to our sweet Grandma's voice in the 911 call they played. This voice of love and kindness that we've known all our lives changed into a voice of absolute fear and a voice that crackled under the sheer emotional pain she had endured. In my whole life I will never get this out of my mind and I can never imagine this kind of fear, this kind of horror, this kind of pain, this kind of security being taken away at a moments notice. I am angry that someone would do this to another. My Grandmother in all of her strength and wits was able to take off her wedding ring and hide it in her pocket when the robbers were not looking. It warms my heart the love she has for my Grandfather. Christ is her savior and she will endure this. She will endure and get beyond not being able to left alone, she will get past seeing those men in her mind in her home. I praise you Lord for saving her for I am so well aware this outcome could have been sooo very different without you. I pray peace be warmed into her heart that her mind be relieved of this constant agitation.
I praise you Lord for answering the prayers sent up that these people would be caught quickly. Tuesday these men and a woman (who as it turns out is my Grandmother's cousin) were caught driving her car with some of the stolen goods in it in Dayton. These people are in custody and have been brought back to Darke County and are being charged with aggravated robbery, kidnapping, grand theft auto and a list of other charges. I do so pray justice be brought and they are imprisoned for a lifetime. All the money and all the things are just that... things. They can be replaced or learned to live without but they took away the place she feels closest to Grandpa, a home she's known for so very long a Camelot of such that my Grandparents had built together. It is doubtful that she will ever live there again.
When put to the test the only true security we have is our trust in Christ as our Savior. He is the only security that is unfailing, the only thing that we can really grasp and hold on to at any given moment. The moment when we can't reach the phone or can't make it to the car or can't run fast enough or God sparing we are put into a situation of absolute terror, Christ will see us through to the morning light.
Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place, you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.
Please keep Juanita McClain in your prayers for she will need them for so long.
Michelle
Friday, December 11, 2009
Praise the Lord for Our Brianna!!!
I'm not sure what the Lord is doing with our Brianna but it is amazing as a parent of this little spit fire of a teenager to watch Him do work in her and with her.
The Lord has laid upon my heart these past few months to sit back and let Brianna make choices in her life without my opinion all of the time. I am trying soo very hard to be supportive when the choices appear to come from a good place in her and bite my lip a little when it isn't and give guidance and direction with parables if you will, sharing life lessons learned to give influence to her instead of my old more direct approach. I have seen a huge difference in her heart for me. Praise the Lord, her heart has softened greatly for me and in some ways I feel I have my little girl back. Hugs and kisses and all. The teen years are so hard, they can be rude and edgey which truth be told brings out a little rude and edgey in me. They can be inconsiderate and seem to be mostly interested in self. That being said I have also had some of the most heart warming and special conversations with this person who is not even close to a little girl anymore. She is a young woman. A young woman who I am so proud to say has value in herself before the Lord. I'd like to share a piece of a conversation we had today.
A close friend of hers who is also a freshman has been dating a senior boy. This relationship has been very hard for Bri to watch. She sees her friend acting in a way that really bothers her, she feels this boy is too old for her friend and says her friend is too wrapped up in one person at this age. Today things came to a head between Bri and her friend. She said at the lunch today the boy was not being very nice to her or her friend. Then she witnessed them in Bri's words "kissing on the mouth and it was soooo gross". Bri told me about it when she got home from school and said they left school mad at each other. Soon the phone rang and it was her friend.
It was sort of amusing to listen to her tell me how she shared the word of God from a teen stand point. Bri said to her friend "Hey I know you don't want to hear this but I'm going to get all Biblical on you. You shouldn't be acting the way you did today with a boy. God intended for your first kiss to be with the man you are going to marry but today you ruined that. You can't ever get that back. I wonder how you husband will feel about it. It is wrong to be acting this way with any boy let alone one who is way to old for you and wants you to do older things with you, it goes against God. Then she told her she would always be her friend but that she should not be ok with a boy treating herself or any of her friends in the manner he chose to treat everyone today." Her friend told her that she was right and she was going to talk to her boyfriend about it.
I ask you could any mother imagine to hear those words come from their teenage daughter? I am so proud of her for not sitting quiet, not allowing behavior she knows is wrong to go without saying something. I'm proud of her for being a good friend. I am proud of her for walking with Jesus and allowing him to use her. I am in awe of her strength I am excited watching God use her and wonder how he will next. He is using her in ways I could have never imagined to minister to girls in her class. We have had a few similar conversations lately about two other girls who have asked her questions about heaven and why God put us here. It is fantastic listening to her share these conversations with me.
She recently decided that she wanted to give up 4-H and soccer. She had mentioned 4-H a few months ago then soccer almost as soon as it was over. I told her these where her decisions but I felt she should be very prayerful with any decision made as to make sure it is God's direction and ask Him to bring clarity and peace in the decision. Chris really likes her doing both so the day she announced that she was ready to quit both he was a little irritated and asked her why, and he wanted some good reasons. She said this "I really feel like I have fallen away from being a part of Youth Group at church. I learn a lot there about God and don't feel like I have any time for it anymore because I'm always busy doing other stuff. I think the things I learn about there will be with me forever and it's way more important. She also went on to explain that the friends there like her for who she is and she likes being around them and feels more comfortable. " Umm, I thought those were some pretty good reasons and I guess he thought so too because he didn't challenge it anymore and looked a little awestruck of her answer.
Praise God for showing me how to trust in Him with all things. Praise God for being faithful with my children and praise Him for giving me the eyes to see it and the heart to love Him for it. Praise Him for allowing me the honor of being Brianna's mom.
Hope you are all enjoying this Holiday season!!!
Merry Christmas!!!
Chelle
The Lord has laid upon my heart these past few months to sit back and let Brianna make choices in her life without my opinion all of the time. I am trying soo very hard to be supportive when the choices appear to come from a good place in her and bite my lip a little when it isn't and give guidance and direction with parables if you will, sharing life lessons learned to give influence to her instead of my old more direct approach. I have seen a huge difference in her heart for me. Praise the Lord, her heart has softened greatly for me and in some ways I feel I have my little girl back. Hugs and kisses and all. The teen years are so hard, they can be rude and edgey which truth be told brings out a little rude and edgey in me. They can be inconsiderate and seem to be mostly interested in self. That being said I have also had some of the most heart warming and special conversations with this person who is not even close to a little girl anymore. She is a young woman. A young woman who I am so proud to say has value in herself before the Lord. I'd like to share a piece of a conversation we had today.
A close friend of hers who is also a freshman has been dating a senior boy. This relationship has been very hard for Bri to watch. She sees her friend acting in a way that really bothers her, she feels this boy is too old for her friend and says her friend is too wrapped up in one person at this age. Today things came to a head between Bri and her friend. She said at the lunch today the boy was not being very nice to her or her friend. Then she witnessed them in Bri's words "kissing on the mouth and it was soooo gross". Bri told me about it when she got home from school and said they left school mad at each other. Soon the phone rang and it was her friend.
It was sort of amusing to listen to her tell me how she shared the word of God from a teen stand point. Bri said to her friend "Hey I know you don't want to hear this but I'm going to get all Biblical on you. You shouldn't be acting the way you did today with a boy. God intended for your first kiss to be with the man you are going to marry but today you ruined that. You can't ever get that back. I wonder how you husband will feel about it. It is wrong to be acting this way with any boy let alone one who is way to old for you and wants you to do older things with you, it goes against God. Then she told her she would always be her friend but that she should not be ok with a boy treating herself or any of her friends in the manner he chose to treat everyone today." Her friend told her that she was right and she was going to talk to her boyfriend about it.
I ask you could any mother imagine to hear those words come from their teenage daughter? I am so proud of her for not sitting quiet, not allowing behavior she knows is wrong to go without saying something. I'm proud of her for being a good friend. I am proud of her for walking with Jesus and allowing him to use her. I am in awe of her strength I am excited watching God use her and wonder how he will next. He is using her in ways I could have never imagined to minister to girls in her class. We have had a few similar conversations lately about two other girls who have asked her questions about heaven and why God put us here. It is fantastic listening to her share these conversations with me.
She recently decided that she wanted to give up 4-H and soccer. She had mentioned 4-H a few months ago then soccer almost as soon as it was over. I told her these where her decisions but I felt she should be very prayerful with any decision made as to make sure it is God's direction and ask Him to bring clarity and peace in the decision. Chris really likes her doing both so the day she announced that she was ready to quit both he was a little irritated and asked her why, and he wanted some good reasons. She said this "I really feel like I have fallen away from being a part of Youth Group at church. I learn a lot there about God and don't feel like I have any time for it anymore because I'm always busy doing other stuff. I think the things I learn about there will be with me forever and it's way more important. She also went on to explain that the friends there like her for who she is and she likes being around them and feels more comfortable. " Umm, I thought those were some pretty good reasons and I guess he thought so too because he didn't challenge it anymore and looked a little awestruck of her answer.
Praise God for showing me how to trust in Him with all things. Praise God for being faithful with my children and praise Him for giving me the eyes to see it and the heart to love Him for it. Praise Him for allowing me the honor of being Brianna's mom.
Hope you are all enjoying this Holiday season!!!
Merry Christmas!!!
Chelle
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
A KCMA Student!!!
As of today I am a student of Kettering College of Medical Arts. I will be taking pre-requisite classes for a year beginning Jan. 11th, then I will apply to the Ultra-sound program. Upon completion, I will have a Bachelor's degree and will be certified in all four areas of ultra-sound; heart, ob, vascular and abdomin. KCMA is one of only two schools in Ohio that offer all four areas and ranked 10th in the nation for this program. It is also a Christian college. Healthcare is being taught from a biblical perspective and I will get to have religion classes along side my medical courses. God blessed me with a schedule that will allow me to be in school when the kids are on MWF and be home when they are. They will not notice much change this semester. That is my goal for every semester, to keep their lives the same with me there for them as normal as possible. I will get to have a job that helps people but also allows me the flexibility to continue to be the Mom I love being. The kids think it is cool that Mommy will go to school too but mostly they think it is funny that I will have homework.
Below is the Student Personal Statement essay that I wrote and attached with my application.
The question was. How do you measure success? What have you specifically done to try to reach your own measure of success?
My answer:
I measure success by what God's best would be from me and for me. It comes from whether or not I feel He would be pleased with the goal, endeavor or task. Winning or being the most sought after is not as important as how the goal is achieved. Working hard while keeping the importance of honesty, integrity and treating others with the honor God has asked me to is the scale.
In order to succeed, first I pray. God's guidance brings direction and peace over paths chosen. Bible study is also key. Professionally its wisdom has molded me into a person who is dependable, responsible and puts others first. Personally it has taught me to be a wife my husband needs as a helper to him and has trained me to build character, love and direction in my children. God in the center is the key to all success.
Next question was: In what ways, if any, does your relationship with God influence how you think about the following statement; "Kettering College of Medical Arts desires that its graduates understand their profession as a call to serve others, not just a livelihood".
My answer:
I consider an education at KCMA and my future profession to be an answer to prayer. I have spent a large amount of time asking God if it would so delight him to delight me in filling my days with work that would be helpful to others while challenging my mind on a daily basis. I found confirmation to the call of becoming a sonographer when I found KCMA. I could have never imagined to find a school that would teach health care from a biblical perspective but God has led me to it. I am excited and anticipate looking for the opportunities God will put before me each day to do his work serving patients and my co-workers in a manner which would bring glory to Him.
My Christopher, I love you and am grateful to be called yours. Thank you for working your tail feathers to the bone for us always. Thank you for not only giving me permission to do this but also being my biggest cheering section and for trusting God and believing in the abilities God has placed in me more than I do myself. Mostly thank you for your strength as my husband and father to our children, the cornerstone that never breaks and continues to give even though you are so exhausted. You never complain and just envelope all of us in your love and protection. You are my hero.
Hope everyone has a great week!!! Chelle
Below is the Student Personal Statement essay that I wrote and attached with my application.
The question was. How do you measure success? What have you specifically done to try to reach your own measure of success?
My answer:
I measure success by what God's best would be from me and for me. It comes from whether or not I feel He would be pleased with the goal, endeavor or task. Winning or being the most sought after is not as important as how the goal is achieved. Working hard while keeping the importance of honesty, integrity and treating others with the honor God has asked me to is the scale.
In order to succeed, first I pray. God's guidance brings direction and peace over paths chosen. Bible study is also key. Professionally its wisdom has molded me into a person who is dependable, responsible and puts others first. Personally it has taught me to be a wife my husband needs as a helper to him and has trained me to build character, love and direction in my children. God in the center is the key to all success.
Next question was: In what ways, if any, does your relationship with God influence how you think about the following statement; "Kettering College of Medical Arts desires that its graduates understand their profession as a call to serve others, not just a livelihood".
My answer:
I consider an education at KCMA and my future profession to be an answer to prayer. I have spent a large amount of time asking God if it would so delight him to delight me in filling my days with work that would be helpful to others while challenging my mind on a daily basis. I found confirmation to the call of becoming a sonographer when I found KCMA. I could have never imagined to find a school that would teach health care from a biblical perspective but God has led me to it. I am excited and anticipate looking for the opportunities God will put before me each day to do his work serving patients and my co-workers in a manner which would bring glory to Him.
My Christopher, I love you and am grateful to be called yours. Thank you for working your tail feathers to the bone for us always. Thank you for not only giving me permission to do this but also being my biggest cheering section and for trusting God and believing in the abilities God has placed in me more than I do myself. Mostly thank you for your strength as my husband and father to our children, the cornerstone that never breaks and continues to give even though you are so exhausted. You never complain and just envelope all of us in your love and protection. You are my hero.
Hope everyone has a great week!!! Chelle
Sunday, November 15, 2009
True Love with Choices
Our pastor delivered a truly awesome sermon this morning about God's love through choice. I have thought a lot about this truth these past few years. True love only comes from choice. I completely get this from the standpoint of God and how he loves us and how we love Him. I know He is jealous for my heart and I love knowing that he is.
Chris is jealous for my heart too. Secretly I love knowing that he is. I once heard a woman say that her husband was so jealous and it just drove her nuts. I thought really? I know my husband is jealous too, he shows it whenever any man gets within a 5 mile radious of me, here it comes with the questions and his chest get all puffed up and he gets a stern look and I think praise the Lord. It doesn't happen often and I in no way shape or form put myself in situations to make my husband jealous but when a situation does come up I know under no uncertain terms that I belong to Chris Beck!! That doesn't make me nuts at all because I do belong to him and I love that he wants me to belong to him. So I think that is how God must feel when I read in the Bible that He is jealous for my heart...He wants to protect me and wants me to belong to Him.
Our marriage has gone to heights I would have never thought possible out of our love for wanting to choose to help each other. It is so much sweeter to come home to a cleaned up kitchen or clean laundry that has been taken care of when my husband chose only to want to please me without me having to ask for the help. In turn I see the look of sheer appreciation on his face when a customer called in and I chose to go to the site to give the customer estimate without him having to touch until the actual work is scheduled. Words are much more kind when you are choosing to build up each other rather than concentrate on whose fault and just pitch in to make it all work out. I see this choosing Love and I unmistakably know that that is the kind of love God wants from us.
As I look at our children, especially our now 15 year old daughter, I think is this so for them. Bri is wanting to make so many of her own choices and as her mother wanting to protect her it is so hard. I want her to make good choices. But the only way to really know whether she will or not is to actually let her make them on her own. I think in just 3 1/2 short...SHORT years I will be standing at a place in life where hope will exceed the mourn of a grown child spreading her wings and I think I want the choices to be hers. I can see how it must be so hard for God to know we are going to fall and just let us so we can learn how to change and do what is right while standing right beside us every step of the way. As a parent of a teen who is getting ready to start driving soon and looking at colleges and talking about what her life might hold I think teach me Lord. Teach me to parent the way you do. Help me to be ready to watch her fall and let her figure out how to get up all the while standing right beside her every step of the way. Let me be the one who is her loudest cheer leader when she does choose right and the quiet one in the corner with arms open wide when her choice was wrong. I faithfully keep her in your hands Lord looking over her at all times. I choose to pray your guidance in her Lord, I choose to trust in you on her behalf and I know you are Lord.
Chris is jealous for my heart too. Secretly I love knowing that he is. I once heard a woman say that her husband was so jealous and it just drove her nuts. I thought really? I know my husband is jealous too, he shows it whenever any man gets within a 5 mile radious of me, here it comes with the questions and his chest get all puffed up and he gets a stern look and I think praise the Lord. It doesn't happen often and I in no way shape or form put myself in situations to make my husband jealous but when a situation does come up I know under no uncertain terms that I belong to Chris Beck!! That doesn't make me nuts at all because I do belong to him and I love that he wants me to belong to him. So I think that is how God must feel when I read in the Bible that He is jealous for my heart...He wants to protect me and wants me to belong to Him.
Our marriage has gone to heights I would have never thought possible out of our love for wanting to choose to help each other. It is so much sweeter to come home to a cleaned up kitchen or clean laundry that has been taken care of when my husband chose only to want to please me without me having to ask for the help. In turn I see the look of sheer appreciation on his face when a customer called in and I chose to go to the site to give the customer estimate without him having to touch until the actual work is scheduled. Words are much more kind when you are choosing to build up each other rather than concentrate on whose fault and just pitch in to make it all work out. I see this choosing Love and I unmistakably know that that is the kind of love God wants from us.
As I look at our children, especially our now 15 year old daughter, I think is this so for them. Bri is wanting to make so many of her own choices and as her mother wanting to protect her it is so hard. I want her to make good choices. But the only way to really know whether she will or not is to actually let her make them on her own. I think in just 3 1/2 short...SHORT years I will be standing at a place in life where hope will exceed the mourn of a grown child spreading her wings and I think I want the choices to be hers. I can see how it must be so hard for God to know we are going to fall and just let us so we can learn how to change and do what is right while standing right beside us every step of the way. As a parent of a teen who is getting ready to start driving soon and looking at colleges and talking about what her life might hold I think teach me Lord. Teach me to parent the way you do. Help me to be ready to watch her fall and let her figure out how to get up all the while standing right beside her every step of the way. Let me be the one who is her loudest cheer leader when she does choose right and the quiet one in the corner with arms open wide when her choice was wrong. I faithfully keep her in your hands Lord looking over her at all times. I choose to pray your guidance in her Lord, I choose to trust in you on her behalf and I know you are Lord.
Monday, October 5, 2009
This week is crazy with one kid at the hospital today getting a knee x-ray, five soccer games between two kids, soccer practice, church hand-in-hand Wed. night, a field trip Fri. for Natty and a big Tinkerbell Tea Party birthday for Natty on Sunday afternoon, oh yes and if we can make it a Pumpkin Show parade with Papaw on Sat. evening. What you may ask would keep a mother sane trying to keep up with all of this and work......prayer, prayer, prayer. I find myself in such a minute by minute relationship with the Lord. I need it, He requires it, and with Him it all gets done and Mom is at peace. Chris downloaded the Bible on my MP3 and I have been listening to it each day that I work. I love it. His word is in my ears, my mind and my heart continually and it has been such joy. One would think you could not listen to thine word for thou might think thee would get somewhat tired from 6 hours of thine and thou but I find at the end of the day I'm trying to find a good place to stop as not to miss anything. I pray on each day asking Him to open my heart to what He would have me learn. Such a submission has spilled over to the rest of my day. I find myself praying continually each time an issue comes to my mind I ask His guidance, His blessing, His wisdom, His peace and it comes. With prayer Bri's knee is a minor swollen tendon, I find joy in watching my children play their hearts out at soccer, my heart warms over a child thanking me for teaching her about Jesus, I feel honored that I am a Mother who gets to take the time to go on the field trip, I look forward to the delight in my 5 yr. olds face as she serves all of her friends even though she is the guest of honor, my heart sings as my son explains how he prays at school at lunchtime even though nobody else does and with prayer, I feel the blessing of a husband who goes out of his way to make my life easier in any way he can and never complains about the many hours he puts in to keep our family going and loves me even when I'm not lovable and with prayer I can feel the treasure of having our parents and siblings close enough to share it all. Like a bruised, bumpy peach is such that makes the sweetest jam. That is what I am or maybe I'm still just in the processor, either way it is sweet with the Lord as the maker.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Joseph in "Awe" of his Family
This warmed my heart so, I had to share it.
We were in full swing of our Tues. after school routine. Me making supper, Bri in her room doing homework, Natty sitting on the deep freeze coloring and Joe who had just finished his homework had moved on to working on his Mapbook. Our church has a Wed. night program we are involved in called "Hand - In - Hand". Supper at the church at 6:00 then at 6:45 kids and adults go to their age appropriate Bible Study classes. The older kids such in Joe's class bring home a paper or worksheet "Mapbook" to work on through the week then they take it back the following week and whoever brings it back gets candy. You can imagine our 7yr. old son is all over this. He gets
CANDY right!!!
Anyway we were going through the point which was how big God is and how Him being so big loves little old you. They were talking about galaxies, the sun, the moon and the earth, how God created this in all His glory and that same God loves Joseph. The next part of the book says to draw something you are just in Awe of and think about the fact that the God that made that thing you think is soooo Awesome loves Joseph. He began drawing and as I looked over I was surprised he had drawn our family.Jose, "I think you are supposed to draw something like the sun or you know something big." He says, "no Mom it says to draw something you think is awesome and I think our family is really awesome and I think how much I love you and Daddy and Sissy and Natty I think no way God could love me more than that but he just does."
How blessed am I to have such a family as this, with such awesome kids and such an awesome husband.
Hope you are both having a great week.
Love, Chelle
We were in full swing of our Tues. after school routine. Me making supper, Bri in her room doing homework, Natty sitting on the deep freeze coloring and Joe who had just finished his homework had moved on to working on his Mapbook. Our church has a Wed. night program we are involved in called "Hand - In - Hand". Supper at the church at 6:00 then at 6:45 kids and adults go to their age appropriate Bible Study classes. The older kids such in Joe's class bring home a paper or worksheet "Mapbook" to work on through the week then they take it back the following week and whoever brings it back gets candy. You can imagine our 7yr. old son is all over this. He gets
CANDY right!!!
Anyway we were going through the point which was how big God is and how Him being so big loves little old you. They were talking about galaxies, the sun, the moon and the earth, how God created this in all His glory and that same God loves Joseph. The next part of the book says to draw something you are just in Awe of and think about the fact that the God that made that thing you think is soooo Awesome loves Joseph. He began drawing and as I looked over I was surprised he had drawn our family.Jose, "I think you are supposed to draw something like the sun or you know something big." He says, "no Mom it says to draw something you think is awesome and I think our family is really awesome and I think how much I love you and Daddy and Sissy and Natty I think no way God could love me more than that but he just does."
How blessed am I to have such a family as this, with such awesome kids and such an awesome husband.
Hope you are both having a great week.
Love, Chelle
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)